A primes passion, p.23
A Prime's Passion, page 23
“He isn’t yours,” Zee said again. “I don’t need to worry about Boone having you transferred because you aren’t, have never been and never will be any threat to me. Whatever happens with Niko and me will have nothing to do with you.”
“Yes—” Hannah’s face froze in a rictus, her lips trying to form an honorific for which there was no name.
Zee wasn’t her alpha. Zee had no place in the hierarchy either, nor did she even belong in the pack because Niko had cast her aside.
“I don’t care what you call me,” Zee said and she realized she meant it.
Growing up in Greylock had taught her that pack hierarchy could be so fucked up as to be beyond meaningless.
Hannah still looked frozen.
“Just understand... whether or not I choose to stay has no bearing on you, on any other woman. It will be between Niko and me—and this time, somebody running up to him with whispers about my dirty Sidhé nature isn’t going to do the trick.” Zee lifted a brow in challenge, suddenly able to see the past so much clearer, through a lens no longer so distorted by shame, hurt or humiliation. “I didn’t know anything about my mother’s bloodline, but even if I had, it wouldn’t have changed what was between Niko and me—at least, it shouldn’t have changed anything. It won’t do shit to change things now that I do know—if you think I’m ashamed of the Sidhé blood in my veins, you’ve yet another disappointment waiting for you. Here’s another, Hannah. I’m not the broken, tired, shadow of a girl I was then.”
Hannah’s lids flickered, anger rousing under the submission Zee’s greater strength had drawn out of her. She darted a look at Zee but couldn’t hold the contact for more than a second.
But that anger, it burned.
“Spare me,” Hannah said, her voice caustic, despite the faint tremor.
Zee knew why the woman’s voice shook. She told herself to dial it back, that enraged, dark energy roiling within and spilling out.
Shut it down, Zee...
The ghost of the past tugged at her, a memory she’d suppressed from rising in the back of her mind as she stared into Hannah’s wide blue eyes.
“Shut it down, Zee.” Phoenix, his voice tight, face grim as he crouched over her, his big body a protective barrier between her and anybody who might stumble into them in the thick, heavy growth of trees. She’d run so very far, but they’d catch her soon. And make her go back—no! The wolf inside roused, raged—
“Zee, stop it! Shut it down! I can’t fight all of them, not by myself and we’ll both end up dead if you attack any of them.”
“They’ll punish me—they’ll beat me because I didn’t do what they said, and because I bit that fathead Brandon, and for running when Neil told me to stay,” she whispered, glaring at her big brother in defiance. “I saw what they did to Joey. He’s Royal’s little brother! But they beat him, all of them, Royal too, and I wanted to kill them! They’ll beat me for seeing them!”
“No, little sister, I won’t let them.” He tugged her closer, ignoring the dirt, the scratches on her raw, scraped skin from her headlong rush into the wilds north of Greylock. “But you can’t have that look on your face when they reach us. Lock it down, Zee. Lock it down. You can’t let them see you like this.”
“Why not?” Tears burned her eyes as she glared at him, drawing her knees up to her body, hiding her small, naked, fragile body. “I hate them. All of them.”
“Because they’ll see that. And because you’re too strong. They can’t see that strength, little sister. They’ll destroy it. So hide it until you’re even stronger than they are—that way, they’ll never realize it and they can’t break you.”
She’d been so scared that night, so angry. Yet those emotions were eclipsed mere months later when she stood next to her father along with the rest of the pack and they all watched as Joey was systematically beaten to death, bones broken, ribs snapped. Beaten, because he hadn’t given in to the brutal leadership of his brother.
“Broken?” Hannah said, voice steadying somewhat as her own anger sent adrenaline surging through her, giving her a false sense of strength... complacency. “You weren’t broken when you came here. You led the Prime around by the nose when he was too young to realize what you were doing—the same way you did with the young wolves up in Greylock.”
Boone stiffened but before he could react, Zee flowed forward.
“Young wolves?” Zee snarled, grabbing Hannah by the front of her shirt and spinning, the movements blurring into one. Before even a heartbeat passed, Zee had Hannah by the throat and slammed her into the nearest wall. It was built sturdy, but plaster and paneling cracked under the impact. “What young wolves?”
The defiance Hannah had showed melted, crumpling as raw fury and pain exploded out of Zee.
“What young wolves, Hannah? Nobody stayed young in Greylock—not with Royal Graves as the Alpha. Royal’s little brother stopped being young when he was fourteen—he got tired of being beaten by his brother and friends and finally fought back. They retaliated by beating him to death in front of the entire pack—including the kids. I was nine. But that wasn’t the first time I saw them beat Joey. I can’t even remember how many times that happened. My brothers stopped being young when my father dragged them out of the house to go on hunts when they were four, five years old, so they’d be tough enough to deal with bigger and stronger wolves—or at least know how to hide. I don’t know if Phoenix ever had a chance to be young—Saint might have had a bit of a chance. Etan? Not much. Royal started getting even crazier about the time Etan was five or six from what I’ve heard—Etan mentioned he’d seen Royal and one of his lieutenants try to accost a female lieutenant from another pack when he was out with our father in another region. They were traveling on pack business when it happened. She ripped the lieutenant’s throat open before severing his dick from his body. She almost did the same to Royal before her friend showed up and tore the two apart—more’s the pity. The world would have been better off. That’s when Greylock stopped interacting with other packs.”
Hannah barely breathed.
But Zee was far from done.
“I stopped being young before I was even five, when my father made it his mission to break me so I’d never show my real self to that sick monster who led the pack. In his eyes, of course, he did it to save me—he knew I’d be a dominant even though he’d been trying to crush it out of me since I was a small baby. But after I smashed an older boy in the head with a glass bottle because he was beating a friend of mine, my dad knew he hadn’t been hard enough on me—so he broke me. Eyes on the floor, little wolf. Don’t look at me like that, wolf... learn to crawl, little wolf. Submit or you’ll end up dead.”
Hannah’s eyes were so big, the whites of her eyes shown all around.
“Do you know what it’s like to have everybody in your life try to break you, Hannah?” Under her hand, Zee felt the other woman’s pulse, even the rush of her blood, protected by the fragile shield of skin. Hannah clung to the hand Zee had wrapped around her throat, but otherwise, she hung limp, not even trying to break free. “To stand by and see them break all the others around you? To throw yourself between the bigger, stronger wolves and the ones your age, to know that if you don’t, nobody else will? Not the lieutenants, not the soldiers... not even their own fucking parents!”
“Stop,” Hannah wheezed, her voice pleading. “Please... ”
“You’re begging.” Zee had never been cruel. She’d seen too much of it. But she was so enraged, so overwhelmed by this woman who knew nothing that Zee lost sight of everything. “We begged too. I hated to even speak to anybody save, even the few friends I had or my brothers. I hated to even speak to my father, because his fucking tunnel vision blinded him to anything but deposing of Royal Graves. But I had to, sometimes—and I had to beg him to listen. And sometimes, I wasn’t fast enough to get away from the adults. Those times, they made me beg. When they managed to corner me because I wasn’t fast enough, or when I let them catch me so the others could get away.”
She laughed bitterly. “They always knew when I let them catch me. I was fast... so fast for such a small, young wolf.” She mocked Royal’s deep, rough voice, one she heard in her ears even now. “When I let them catch me, they’d drag me back to the pack’s compound, throw me in front of Royal. I’d stay wolf most of the time because none of them cared that a young girl might be uncomfortable naked in front of grown men. But Royal really liked it when I stayed wolf. He made a game of forcing me back to my human skin. Sometimes, he’d get me right to the edge... ” She slowed her voice, the madness of her rage deafening her to everything else. “Right to the edge. Then he’d back off, laugh and tell me I’d learned my lesson, he’d send me on home... and sometimes, he’d even let me leave. Other times, he’d have the lieutenants throw me into one of the cages.”
She stopped then, shaking her head in befuddlement while Hannah stared at her in terrified silence.
“Cages, Hannah. He caged his wolves like we were nothing more than animals.” Her voice was raw, eyes stinging as she stared at the woman in front of her. “Who does that to his own people? To children?”
“Zee.”
It wasn’t Hannah who spoke now. Through her rage, Zee barely recognized the deeper, gentler tones and she closed her eyes, sucking in a breath to clear her head.
“Zee.” Boone touched her arm gently. “You’re going to rip out her throat if you keep it up.”
With a desperate cry, Zee forced her hand to open and she spun away. She shoved her hands through her hair and immediately wished she hadn’t, because the thumb of her right hand brushed against a scar, one so faded, you’d have to know it was there to even notice it.
Zee could never forget.
She’d been thirteen that summer. Thirteen, and she’d realized the truth of her reality. That her life would be nothing more than what it had always been—she’d never know anything else. The knowledge had almost broken her. For the longest time, she thought it had.
Feeling as if her limbs had been turned to wood, she turned back to Hannah and saw her huddled against the wall. With her knees drawn to her chest and arms wrapped around them, the big, tough soldier looked more like a woebegone teenager than anything else.
Hunkering down in front of Hannah, she took one of the woman’s hands. The soldier didn’t even fight.
Some distant part of her wondered... was it easier to just give in? Her father, her brothers, they’d all warned her that fighting the stronger wolves only roused a predator’s instincts more quickly.
But giving in would have destroyed what little remained of her soul.
So they kept on beating her, battering her. Again. Again. And again. And again. Until she forgot she wasn’t one of Royal’s broken toys. And she’d given up. She’d stopped fighting and curled in on herself.
“Do you feel this?” She guided Hannah’s hand to her head, under the damp, heavy mess of her hair, the scars hidden just inside her hairline. “I got these scars the night I finally stopped fighting. The night I finally gave in. I was thirteen. Isaiah was one of the soldiers. He had a younger cousin, Brandon. Brandon was about the same age as Isaiah’s younger brother, Neil. Brandon wasn’t from Greylock, came from somewhere down south but spent most of the summers there. Neil and Brandon were tight, thick as thieves, following Royal and Isaiah around or bullying the younger wolves. That was what they did for fun. Neil was bad just by himself but when Brandon was with him... they were monsters. They were all bigger, stronger, meaner. Cruel... they liked to beat up the little kids and the only people who ever stopped them were my brothers and a couple of the older lieutenants like my dad.”
The memories spun through her mind, twisting her belly to knots even now.
“One summer... it was bad. Royal knew there were pack members looking to have him replaced. But he couldn’t find the leader, or even get a solid idea of who was involved. Three of the pack members who worked with my dad were caught by Royal’s men, tortured to death. They never gave up names, but everybody was scared. A couple of the kids who Brandon and Neil targeted had been orphaned by... ” Zee stopped, her throat thickening. “They were orphaned that summer. I slid outside one night. I was always doing that—sneaking out. Being in the house while Dad and Phoenix plotted made me sick. I didn’t know why Dad didn’t just kill Royal. Royal needed to die, and my father was strong enough. I found Isaiah, Brandon and Neil with three kids, and a couple of Royal’s bullies. One little girl was on the ground, crying, naked. Neil had her brother, one arm around his throat, a hand gagging him. Brandon and one of the other kid was eleven, but she looked older. She was sweet, but... simple. She’d hit her head when she was little and her father waited too long to take her to get treatment. The swelling inside... well, she never fully recovered. She was sobbing while Brandon and Chase stripped her naked. Chase had her rubbing his penis. Brandon had his hand in her underwear. They were babies, Hannah. I lost it. I shifted and bit Neil from behind, right in the hamstrings, then again in his femoral. I went after Chase next, tore half his throat out. The kids got away, but the rest of the bigger wolves? They came after me. I was fast. I always have been. And I was scared. But they were stronger and older. They caught me eventually. One of them grabbed me and threw me—these scars... ”
Hannah had long since yanked her hand away and Zee caught it once more. “The rocks did this. I blacked out. I woke up and Brandon was bent over me, he had his hands around my throat, squeezing, and squeezing... two of the wolves were trying to drag him away. They were scared of my brothers and father.”
“No.” Hannah tore her hand free, curling it against her chest as if burned. She shook her head, over and over, still repeating the word, but it was in a monotone. She wasn’t even looking at Zee anymore.
“I need to speak to my soldier, Zee,” Boone said, his voice polite.
There was more Zee could tell the other woman. But nothing else would be heard.
As she rose, Zee felt... odd. Her bones felt heavy and weary, as if she’d come through a battle. Yet she felt oddly light. The weight of the burdens she’d dragged around for so much of her life had become chains over the years, turning brittle of late.
Those chains lay in pieces, shattered as she finally freed herself from the smothering, choking silence of memory.
Looking at Hannah, the woman who had gone strangely lax as she stared at the wall in front of her, Zee shook her head. “I spent too much of life letting the opinions and fears and dictates of others shape me, Hannah. It’s not happening anymore.”
As she turned, she felt Boone’s gaze on her.
But she didn’t look at him.
She had a Prime to face.
Chapter Thirty
“Aspen.” Niko dragged a hand down his face and wondered if he sounded as exhausted as he felt. The call from one of his top people had waylaid him while he’d been in the middle of trying to spring Shale.
Now he was in one of the hospital’s small conference rooms with Aspen’s pretty face twisted into an angry scowl. Next to him, furiously working a micro-pc, Grady was pounding away at the keys. There wasn’t a keyboard, per se—he wore specialized gloves, fitted to his hands that communicated with the computer as well as an eyepiece in his glasses that read commands simply by following the direction of his gaze.
Nobody could talk to tech the way Grady could.
At least not in Niko’s territory.
Aspen was good though. She’d been the one to call when they’d been about ten minutes away, alerting him. She still needed to update him on her trip south, but had told him this was priority.
Now she looked up from her own tablet, gaze slightly unfocused. She blinked, her eyes clearing as she met his.
“Prime?”
“You said this was urgent. What is it? Summarize.”
A line came together between her brows as she looked from him to Grady. “It’s a lot of information, Prime.”
“Summarize. The important details. The past thirty-six hours have sucked and the next day or two won’t be any better. You’re here so you know about Shale.”
“Of course, Prime. I’m sorry I... well, Grady is the one who made the connection. We’ve been staying in contact... ” She grimaced. “Anyway, you know we tag-team a lot of the tech shit. He unearthed some info, thinks this is connected to the assassination of the former Prime.” She swallowed, her pale golden skin working with the movement. “Your father.”
He bit back the urge to snap at her.
He knew who the former Prime had been. But that would just make him sound like more of an asshole than he already was.
And it was nothing more than smoke anyway, a chance to distract people so he didn’t have to think about his failures. As the Prime’s second-in-command, as his son, Niko’s job had been to protect his father at all costs. He’d failed. In so many ways, he’d failed.
Rising from the chair, he paced to the window and looked outside. His phone vibrated in his pocket. It was the third call in less than ten minutes, but he’d been caught up with Aspen and Grady and hadn’t had a chance to answer earlier. He almost pulled it out to throw it on the floor and smash it. Instead, he slid it out and looked at the screen, saw that it was Boone.
He answered immediately, fear a pulse in his throat.
“Boone. What’s wrong? Is Zee okay?”
“She’s fine, Prime.” Boone’s voice was thick with annoyance. “She’s probably heading in your direction, too. That’s one of the reasons I’m calling.”
“Prime?” Grady stood and turned around, his tablet in hand. His eyes no longer had that unfocused look.
Okay, now Niko was annoyed.
“Hold on, Boone.” He leveled his eyes on Grady.
Grady immediately averted his eyes, shuffling nervously on his feet and dipping his head. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for interrupting and for taking so long—I think I know why the data isn’t coming together as it should, though. I left a key file at home.”
