Dear mothman, p.1
Dear Mothman, page 1
PUBLISHER’S NOTE: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Gow, Robin, author.
Title: Dear Mothman / Robin Gow.
Description: New York : Amulet Books, 2023. | Audience: Ages 10 to 14. |
Summary: After the death of his best friend and the only other trans boy at school, Noah starts writing letters expressing his feelings to the humanoid creature Mothman and risks everything when he treks into the woods to prove Mothman’s existence.
Identifiers: LCCN 2022028490 (print) | LCCN 2022028491 (ebook) | ISBN 9781419764400 (hardcover) | ISBN 9781647008208 (ebook)
Subjects: CYAC: Novels in verse. | Gender identity—Fiction. |
Grief—Fiction. | Letters—Fiction. | Mothman—Fiction. |
BISAC: JUVENILE FICTION / Social Themes / Emotions & Feelings |
JUVENILE FICTION / Social Themes / Death, Grief, Bereavement |
LCGFT: Novels in verse. | Novels.
Classification: LCC PZ7.5.G69 Mo 2023 (print) |
LCC PZ7.5.G69 (ebook) | DDC —dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2022028490
LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2022028491
Text © 2023 Robin Gow
Illustrations © 2023 Rebecca Harry
Book design by Deena Micah Fleming
Published in 2023 by Amulet Books, an imprint of ABRAMS. All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical, electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher.
Amulet Books® is a registered trademark of Harry N. Abrams, Inc.
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For my families
PARTNER ACTIVITY: Report on a Mythical Creature
Mrs. Almond’s Sixth-Grade Class
The Mothman
by Lewis Hugh and Noah Romano
NAME: Mothman
LOCATION: First seen in Point Pleasant, West Virginia, but seen all over the United States
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: He is eight or nine feet tall. He has black feathers and wings like a moth. Glowing red eyes.
ABOUT: Mothman is a cryptid, which is different from a mythical creature, because mythical creatures are made-up, but cryptids are real—they’re just hard to see. They’re good at hiding, and only a few people can see them. Some people think cryptids aren’t real. We chose Mothman for this project because more people think he’s a mythical creature and not real. We know he’s real, though, because there’s a whole lot of legends and stories about Mothman, and he’s still alive, so there’s more every year. These woods around here are perfect for him to live in, with lots of places to hide. We are going to see him one day, and then we’re going to tell people stories about him.
ILLUSTRATION
Dear Mothman,
I pretended to believe in you for Lewis.
I am hoping though that maybe he was right—
that he really did see you once
on that sleepover in November
when frigid wind howled through the forest
and everything was bare. He pointed out my window saying
“Look, Noah, look! Do you see him?” I didn’t see you
but I fibbed and said, “I think I do!”
Lewis has been gone for three months now
but sometimes I still don’t believe it’s real.
Tonight, I walked outside
in the chilly March rain. If Lewis were here
he would have told me I was so weird
for not wearing a jacket. Mothman, do you
wear jackets? Do you ever
get cold? If you do get cold
you aren’t like me. Do you wear
a chest binder or do you bind with
great broad leaves from deep in the forest?
Lewis was sure you were queer like us.
If you’re not, that is OK too.
I just want to know you’re there.
I’m going to lay my journal at the foot of this tree tonight
for you to read my letter.
Lewis always said
you loved to come out during thunderstorms
and tonight is the first storm of the spring.
If I’m going to find you
for my science fair project
this is my chance.
The fair is coming up soon
and I don’t have any other ideas.
All I can think of anymore
is Lewis.
Lewis loved to see veins of light
pulse across the sky.
He was never afraid.
I am not like him.
I am afraid
of lightning
and thunder
and the dark woods
and even a little bit
of the thought you could be real
but still
I’m writing “Dear Mothman”
on the journal cover
so you’ll know it’s for you.
—Noah
Morning
Before Mom and Dad get up
I rush outside in my pajamas
to get the journal.
My feet get soaked
by the morning dew.
Everything smells green.
I find the journal open
to my letter for Mothman.
My pulse quickens.
I think
it must have been the breeze
or maybe a squirrel
that opened the journal
but
what if it wasn’t?
I’m shaking the thought away.
After all, how would Mothman find
my journal
on the first night
I left a note for him
unless he was also
looking
for me?
The thought creeps me out a little.
I collect the book—
still damp
from the dew and rain
and I dash inside.
I’m thinking
maybe I’ll leave
one more letter.
Dear Mothman,
Thank you for reading the first letter
though I am kind of wondering
how you found the journal
so quickly.
Maybe you miss Lewis too.
Maybe you knew him.
Maybe I can tell you more about him
and then you can tell me more too.
Lewis was the first person
who understood me.
One recess, he told me he decided his name was “Lewis”
and not “Ella.”
I said, “Why Lewis?” and he said
“After Lewis Carroll, he wrote Alice in Wonderland.”
I thought that was such a good reason for a name.
It is also a good name for Lewis because
he’s got a huge giant imagination.
I don’t want to say it “was” a good name
because even though Lewis is gone
it’s still a good name for him and I still talk about Lewis.
After he read Alice in Wonderland, he told me
he followed a rabbit into the woods by his house
down to a new Wonderland.
I believed him because he told me so many details
like mushrooms that spoke their own languages
and a tea that tasted like cherry juice.
Later, Lewis explained he was just imagining it.
I wished I was that good at imagining.
My name was “Nora.”
Well, my name still is kind of “Nora”
or maybe it always was “Nora.” I don’t know
how names really work.
I told Lewis my new name was “Noah”
and he said, “After Noah’s Ark?”
and I said, “Yes, like Noah’s Ark
because I love animals.”
I was in a really big zoologist phase then.
Do you have a name
besides “Mothman”?
Your new friend,
Noah
Journal Hypotheses
1.
Maybe someone else is turning the pages to my letters at night.
The problem with this hypothesis is that no one else lives close by
and Mom and Dad like sleeping too much to do that.
2.
Squirrels. Once, I saw a squirrel open a granola bar
with his little hands, so definitely capable, but this is a notebook
not something with food inside.
3.
The wind, but how would the wind land on those exact pages?
4.
Mom. She would do this because maybe she thinks it’ll make me
happy again. But, again, Mom likes to sleep.
5.
Mothman? But I don’t know if that makes sense.
It seems little-kid-ish to be like “this must be a monster.”
6.
I’m not sure if I believe in ghosts
but Lewis would definitely do this if he were a ghost.
The First Mothman Sighting, 1966, Point Pleasant, West Virginia
by Lewis Hugh
Dear Mothman,
Lewis told me that you were first seen
in Point Pleasant, West Virginia.
That is about 452 miles from here.
You were said to be gigantic. A “man-sized bird”
with glowing red eyes. You chased
a car for miles. Lewis and I both agreed
you were probably lonely
and scared. Were you? Is that why
you were chasing people? That was 1966
so you have had a lot of time to think about it
or maybe you don’t remember it much at all.
Lewis used to say that when he turned sixteen, he would
get his license right away
and we would drive out there
all by ourselves. I wonder if
our parents would have let us.
I still kind of want to go to Point Pleasant
because there’s a statue of you there.
Lewis said that you probably don’t live there anymore.
I don’t know what it would be like
to change towns. I have always lived here
in Jim Thorpe, Pennsylvania. My parents’
parents’ parents’ parents lived here too.
Our house is old and, in the attic,
black-and-white pictures of my family
perch like haunted birds. Everyone’s faces
are creepy and pale. Mom says
our family members were coal miners
when there was a huge coal mine in town.
Mom says we were Irish immigrants
except Dad is Italian, so we got his last name, “Romano.”
My parents are both schoolteachers
in the same school district they went to school in
and in the same school Lewis and I went to.
At least they teach little kids and not me: kindergarten and
first grade
so they aren’t in the same building as me anymore.
Can you imagine having your mom
as your teacher? I’m lucky the school gave me different teachers
for those grades. It would be SUPER weird
having to call Mom and Dad “Mrs. and Mr. Romano.”
Do you have a mom at all? I’m sorry if this is too much
all at once. When I start learning about something
sometimes I just get so excited and my brain keeps
running and running and running—exploding with questions.
It’s something I love about being autistic.
Can Mothmen be autistic?
Don’t think of my questions
as needing answers. Sometimes you just need
to make a question a question.
Your friend,
Noah
Forgetful
When I’m sad, I get extra forgetful sometimes.
I forgot like all my homework
the month after Lewis died.
Then my teacher, Mrs. Almond, and Mom and Dad
agreed it was better to just stop giving me
as much homework for a while.
She said, “We can work up
to doing the same amount of homework again.”
I hate that she said, “again,” instead of
“before Lewis died.” I know it’s hard
but it almost feels worse that people
didn’t want to say why I was
doing so bad. It’s not like saying he died
would make him more gone.
We made a plan to get back on track
and I stuck to it for a week or so.
Really, it was because Mom and Dad
were helping a lot. Now, they want me
to be able to do it on my own and now I’m back
to just not really doing my homework at all.
I want to do it. Or, really, I just want it
to be done so I can really not think about it.
Tonight I was sad because I was thinking
how excited Lewis would be
to be writing to Mothman.
I keep wondering what else he would do.
Lewis was always the person to figure out stuff
and I’d just go along. Like once,
we got really into looking for an abandoned mine
on the trail.
I really wanted to find one, but it seemed impossible.
I didn’t know where to start.
But Lewis, he did research at the library!
He figured out where mines used to be!
We walked out there
with his dad and I was like
“Lewis, you’re a genius!”
when we found one.
He was like “no—I just researched it.”
Anyway, I forgot to leave the journal out
for Mothman yesterday
and now I’m scared
he’s never going to come back
and then I’m like
“Do I really believe Mothman
is reading my letters?”
Maybe I do.
I’m going to write myself a note
so I won’t forget tonight.
Hi Mothman,
I hope it’s OK I forgot yesterday.
I won’t forget again.
Were you an only child? One legend about you says
you were born from the radioactive mess
at a military storage site. Do you remember
being born? I don’t. I wish I had a brother sometimes.
Me and you could be honorary brothers
if you are lonely and need someone.
My mom says it is OK to miss Lewis.
She asks me what I want to do
to remember him. I want to tell her
I think we should find you, Mothman,
but I think she wouldn’t understand.
Instead, I tell her “I don’t know” over and over.
I wish she would stop asking.
What makes me feel better is thinking about
what Lewis would do for me if I were dead.
He would probably make
a big elaborate shrine with fake flowers
and drawings and candles.
He was always so good at that kind of thing.
When my guinea pig died in first grade
he drew me a picture of him.
The picture is pinned on my bedroom wall.
It made me feel so much better.
—Noah
Dear Mothman,
The science fair happens near the end
of every school year.
Sixth graders make all the projects
and all the other grades come visit
each of the project stations
set up all around the cafeteria.
In my school, sixth grade is the oldest grade in the building
and then up the hill is the middle school
with seventh and eighth graders.
You are allowed to have a partner for your project.
In every other kind of school project
Lewis and I were always partners.
But I told Lewis
I was going to do this alone
even after we’d been looking forward
to doing an experiment together for years.
I told him I wanted to do my own project
because he wanted to prove you existed
and I told him that was impossible
and no one could do that,
especially not
for a sixth-grade science fair.
I feel like
I’m letting
him down
if I don’t at least try.
I have to try
because Lewis isn’t here
to do it himself.
—Noah
Science Fair Ideas
I do try brainstorming other ideas
for projects to do at the science fair
besides just
Lewis’s Mothman one.
Every year, Lewis and I would explore the aisles of displays together.
We’d try to come up with our own ideas for projects
for when we’d be sixth graders
and get to do a project of our own.
Last year, one idea I had was to see
if we could invent a robot
to scare animals away from our garbage cans
because our dads were always mad
that raccoons and opossums and
even sometimes bears ate our trash—
even when the lid was on.
The robot would just growl or something
and then the animals wouldn’t get hurt
and our dads wouldn’t be grumpy.
But now, my brain is like stuck on
doing Lewis’s idea
and I feel bad for telling him
