Edge of ready, p.1
Edge of Ready, page 1
Edge of Ready
L.B. Tillit
GRAVEL ROAD
Edge of Ready
Unchained
2 Days
Copyright ©2012 by Saddleback Educational Publishing
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, scanning, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the publisher. SADDLEBACK EDUCATIONAL PUBLISHING and any associated logos are trademarks and/or registered trademarks of Saddleback Educational Publishing.
ISBN-13: 978-1-61651-778-6
ISBN-10: 1-61651-778-6
eBook: 978-1-61247-381-9
Printed in Guangzhou, China
0000/00-00-00
16 15 14 13 12 1 2 3 4 5
Sometimes we find ourselves on a gravel road, not sure of how we got there or where the road leads. Sharp stones pellet the unprotected. And the everyday wear and tear sears more deeply. Saddleback’s series, Gravel Road, highlights the talents of our urban street lit authors.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I would like to thank Aaron Thompson, Steve Woodson, Mack McKeller, and Rhoda Ricciardi for sharing their knowledge concerning criminal justice. Thanks to my children, Sarah, Amy, and Maya, my husband, Tore, my parents, Keith and Jonlyn, and my sister Kym for their support in writing this first book. Additional thanks to Anne Wanicka, my mentor and friend.
My greatest gratitude goes to my students whose true stories remain more unbelievable than fiction. They are my heroes.
CHAPTER 1
Dani
I should have never been born. That’s what my daddy said before he shut the door. I never saw him again.
True, I was only three, but I can still see his long black hair fall into his face. He pushed it back with one hand as he opened the door with the other. He spit words out in Spanish. I don’t know what he said, but Mom cried and yelled, “You better not come back.” So he didn’t.
Mom took me in her arms. Her skin looked black against my chubby brown legs. She said we could do this, just the two of us. I believed her.
We moved a week later. Mom said we didn’t need three bedrooms. She said smaller was better. I believed her.
By the time I was seventeen I knew she had lied. We moved because she didn’t want Daddy to find us. She also needed a cheap place.
But I didn’t care. West Street was my home and I was just happy to have my own room while Mom shared her room with Benny. Benny is my baby brother. When I was sixteen Mom thought she had a thing going with her white boss at Ted’s Rest Hotel across town. It was going to move us out of here. The minute he found out Benny was on the way it was over. Mom cried for weeks. She cried, “We’re stuck!”
I just held her and said, “Mom, why do you want to get out?” When she didn’t speak I said, “You always said this was better than where we were before.”
“You’re right, Dani.” She took my hand and wiped her tears. “It is better. I just want more for you, baby.”
“More?” I looked at my mom. Her dark skin was smooth and beautiful. She didn’t have a muffin top like I did. I kept waiting for my baby fat to go away. I was in for a long wait. I would never look like Mom. I could see why men liked her. Why they wanted her. But for the first time I saw some gray beginning to color her hair.
“You got to finish school!” Mom looked at me as I rolled my eyes. She always went back to the school thing. “Dani Garcia, don’t you roll your eyes at me!” She pointed her finger in my face. “You want to be stupid and let others decide for you?”
“No, Mom,” I said, just like always. She looked at me and smiled.
“Whatever happens, school comes first!” Mom said it like she meant it. I believed her.
Then along came Benny. His blue eyes shocked both of us. So I called him my white brother. I guess he’s not much whiter than me since my dad was Hispanic.
I hated it when people tried to talk Spanish with me since I didn’t know any. Just because I looked like a Garcia didn’t mean I could say anything. Kids teased me when I was younger, calling me stupid. They backed off when I learned to cuss them out in Spanish. They didn’t ask me to speak Spanish again.
At seventeen I was facing my last year of school. I was facing graduation. Easy, right? Wrong!
CHAPTER 2
Ruth
Ruth was my best friend. She had been since we moved to West Street. It was easy to be her friend. She lived in the same building, and we went to school together. She never teased me about my dad being Hispanic. Maybe that’s why I liked her.
As we grew together, we stayed friends. But when we were twelve I could tell she was more into boys than I was. She would say, “Come on, Dani! Chris likes you. Come on, kiss him! It feels real good.” I hated Chris, a neighbor who was twice as fat as me. I guess Ruth thought we made a pair. She thought wrong. I could see him staring at me, and I would just want to puke.
“I want to kiss someone I love!” I would say to Ruth. She would look at me and laugh.
“You stupid! Boys don’t love you. They just want you!” She’d punch me and I’d tell her to shut up.
Still we were friends. She never teased me about finishing school. I think she told people she stayed in school to watch my back. But really she stayed because she liked boys. She liked boys wanting her. She didn’t mind letting them have her.
Still, we were friends.
CHAPTER 3
Evron and Keon
Most of my world seemed to have a phone, so I asked Mom if I could have one too. Since Benny was born Mom did want to reach me when she needed to. So she bought me a cell phone with prepaid minutes. Mom chewed me out because I used up my whole $20 card in one day talking to Ruth. Mom told me we didn’t have money to burn and she asked why I was talking to Ruth on the phone when I could just go over to her house. So that’s what I did.
Ruth had two brothers. At eighteen Evron was beautiful, if you can call a boy beautiful. His skinny teen years were over. I liked it when he showed off his six pack. His black skin was so smooth that I longed to reach out and see if his beauty would rub off on me. But he never looked at me. When I was with Ruth he’d come and go without saying a word.
But Keon, who was two years older, always talked to me. He was tall and not bad to look at either. His hair was so short he looked like he was in the army. He said he packed meat at the Market Place and had to keep a clean cut. I think he made it up, but it made him feel big.
Keon was the only one in the family that had graduated. He made sure everyone knew it, and he always told Ruth she better not drop out. Not like Evron. Ruth said they’d never make it without Keon’s paycheck since their father left.
Their mother and Keon worked all the time while Evron just liked to hang out all day. He spent a lot of time on his phone. He liked to show off how fast he could text. I wanted to believe he was just hanging out and texting with friends, but deep down I knew better. There was no way he could look so hot in his clothes. There was no way he could pay for his phone without some extra money coming in. I just pushed the thought away.
It was Saturday. We had just finished our first week back at school. I was hanging out at Ruth’s. Like always, Saturday was spent on her couch watching TV. When the boys were younger they’d watch TV too. But mostly they were gone. That morning was different. That morning the boys were home.
“So it’s your senior year?” Keon asked me as he took a sip of Pepsi.
I sat down on the couch with him and smiled, “Yeah. I can’t believe it.” I turned to see if Evron had already left.
When I looked back, I saw Keon frown. He pushed the look away and took another sip. “So you gonna make it?”
I stopped smiling. “What’s that mean?”
Just then Evron walked through the bedroom door. He stopped before he got to the front door and looked at me. He looked at me. He looked at me. My heart stopped. He winked and then left. I looked at the closed door and smiled.
“That’s what I mean!” Keon jumped up and walked into the bedroom. He slammed the door. I sat there dazed. What had just happened?
“Don’t worry about Keon!” Ruth said as she plopped down next to me. “He’s like the dad around here.” She smiled and said, “I think Evron is checkin’ you out.” She tried to reach to pinch my cheek, but I slapped her hand.
Soon we both started to giggle like little girls. I couldn’t help but whisper into Ruth’s ear. “Your brother’s so fine!” She knew which one I was talking about.
CHAPTER 4
September
The first month of school was okay. My English class was hard, but I knew I was almost done with school. I could push through any hard classes. Mrs. Grady pulled me aside after class one day. Her little white self got up really close. I could smell the smoke on her. The wrinkles just spread wide into a smile. “Now Dani, hon, you’re doing really well.”
“Thanks, Mrs. Grady,” I smiled and stepped back. Her breath just about knocked me out.
The old lady stepped in again. “Tell me, dear. How is your mother?”
I stepped away again. I could tell she dyed her hair red, really red. “Fine.” I was short and sweet. Why did she want to know anyway?
The smile faded for a moment. It was like she was thinking. She was trying to come up with something else to say. I finally started to turn and go. I felt her hand on my arm, “Dani?” She was smiling again, but it was not the same. “I heard she had a baby.”
“Oh, dear,” Mrs. Grady shook her head. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just want you to keep doing your best.”
Something hurt deep down. Wasn’t I always doing my best? Why did people keep making me feel like I might not make it? I looked at her and tried to be nice, but my edge was still there. “Ma’am, I think I have shown I can do it. Thank you, but it really is none of your concern.” As I turned to leave I saw Mrs. Grady look at me. I couldn’t help feeling that she knew something I didn’t know.
CHAPTER 5
October
Benny was five months old when he started to crawl. Well, sort of. He would pull up on his elbows and scoot. He looked funny. Butt up and then elbows, scoot, then butt down. Looked like a baby version of the worm. I was laughing and smiling, which just made Benny look at me. His blue eyes would twinkle. He was so proud. “Mom, you’ve got to see this!” I yelled to mom who was putting frozen pizza in the microwave.
She turned around and smiled at Benny’s crawl, but then she stopped. “Oh, no! Not yet!” She looked at me, almost dropping the pizza. Of course I looked at her like she must be crazy. Who ever heard of a mother not happy to see her baby crawl? “Dani, it’s–you didn’t crawl until ten months!”
“So? This is great news then. Benny is really doing great.” I grabbed Benny and held him. He started patting my face and sticking his hand in my mouth.
Mom finally got the pizza in the microwave and turned it on. She crossed to the couch and sat down. “I know. I am happy. But Mrs. Carson likes babies that don’t move much.”
“What?” I didn’t get it. Mrs. Carson was our neighbor who was watching Benny while Mom was at work and I was at school. She seemed nice enough.
Mom just shook her head. “Yeah, soon she’ll start finding reasons why she can’t watch Benny. She just doesn’t want kids messing with her stuff.”
“Why did you put Benny with her in the first place?” I put Benny back down on the floor.
Mom moved in closer to her boy. “Because it was easy. She’s right next door. Now I’ve got to start looking for a permanent baby-sitter.”
My stomach hurt. I asked Mom a question I already knew the answer to, “So, you have someone in mind. Right?” She didn’t look at me. She waited. Then she slowly shook her head.
“Mom!” I yelled. “Why not?”
“Dani!” She raised her voice. “Don’t you yell at me. How could I know he would crawl so soon?”
I stood up and started walking around the small room. “So what do we do?”
“Well, Mrs. Carson hasn’t said anything yet. So we don’t need to worry. I’ll start looking tomorrow.” Mom finally looked at me. “Okay, Dani?” She got back up and headed to the kitchen. The pizza wasn’t done yet, but it didn’t matter.
I just shook my head. I knew it would be up to me. I knew if Mom couldn’t find someone it would be me. I knew Mom’s promise of school coming first was a lie. I stomped to my room and yelled, “Whatever!”
CHAPTER 6
Sweet Candy
Halloween was always the best time of year. It didn’t matter how old we were; we always wore fangs or a cape or fake blood. And then there was candy. Sweet candy.
When I was little, Mom said she had to go through the candy bag first before I could. She had to make sure the candy was safe. I would just say, “Sure, Mom.” And then I’d stand there and watch her pick out the candy she wanted. She’d smile with chocolate between her teeth when she handed the bag back to me. I would always say, “Dress up yourself next time!” Then I would find a place to sit and finally enjoy what was left.
For Halloween I dressed Benny up as a bunny. Cute! I spent Halloween afternoon on the bus getting to the mall and back with Benny all dressed up. It went as planned. My bag, I mean Benny’s bag, was full of candy that the stores gave out. They would put candy in the bag with one hand as they pinched Benny’s cheek with the other hand.
Before I went to our apartment I knew I could hit up the old ladies in our building, and they would just spill out the candy. But I was wrong. It looked like less people answered their doors this year. I decided to stop by Ruth’s place to show her Benny before I headed home.
Evron answered the door. “Hello there.” His eyes were sleepy.
“Did I wake you?” I said, turning to go. “Nah, just watchin’ TV.” He touched my arm and pulled me into the stuffy room. The TV was loud. “Cute Bunny.” Evron pulled Benny’s bunny ear. Benny giggled.
“Yeah. It’s his first Halloween and all,” I smiled.
Evron looked at me. “Does he eat candy already?”
I turned red. I suddenly felt fat and childish. I just shook my head, no.
Big white teeth smiled at me. He grabbed the candy bag and jumped on the couch. “Let’s see what you got.”
I started to go for the bag, but I felt stupid. “Is Ruth here?” I finally asked. “I wanted her to see Benny.”
“Ruth!” Evron yelled over the TV. “Dani’s here!”
As I waited for Ruth, I realized that that was the first time I ever heard Evron say my name. I smiled, just a little. He looked at me smile and smiled back. Suddenly I was red again.
“Aw! He’s so cute!” Ruth ran up to me and grabbed Benny. I couldn’t help notice Evron was still looking at me.
We hung out just a little while before I decided I better head home. As I reached the door I heard Evron get up from the couch. “Wait. You forgot this.” He walked right up to me with the very full bag. He handed it to me. He held on to it for just a little longer as he said, “I like your candy.” I could feel my body heat rise.
CHAPTER 7
November
Mrs. Grady was nicer than ever. She seemed more into my grades than ever. She asked about my family more than ever. Strange. But it made English class a little better. She seemed to think what I said mattered. So I really tried. I was making an A.
But then Benny really started crawling. And Mrs. Carson called. She couldn’t watch Benny anymore.
I remember the first day I missed class. It wasn’t great at all. I think that was what everyone thought. “I bet Dani’s glad. She’s got a reason to skip.” But it felt like a deep pit in my stomach. It was like a hole I was afraid I wasn’t going to be able to climb out of.
“It’s just today,” Mom said as she saw the look of fear on my face. She looked at me really hard. “I need you to not make a bigger deal about this than it is.” I just stared. “What?” She raised her voice. “Do you think I should stay here instead?”
I looked down and the words came out before I could stop them. “Well, he is your baby.”
Mom came right up on me. Her finger was in my face. Her voice was hard and cold. “Dani Tiana Garcia who do you think you are? This is my home, my food, and my clothes. I pay for every last bit of it. It’s time you do your part.”
Our eyes locked as I dared to ask, “But Mom, what about school? You said …”
“I know what I said!” Mom shook her head and looked at me with sad eyes. She knew I was right, but she had no choice. I had no choice. “We’ll talk about this later! I’ve got to get to work. Sheets don’t wash themselves.” She stopped and looked at me again. She didn’t yell anymore. “It’s just today. I’ll see if Mrs. Parks can help out.” I nodded and let her go.
All day I tried to think it would just be one day. But I knew better. I would look at Benny and yell, “I hate you!”
But he would crawl over to me and look at me with his big blue eyes and say, “Ni, Ni” with his arms held up until I held him and kissed him.
To my shock, Mom did get Mrs. Parks to watch Benny the next day. I guessed Mom remembered her promise.
CHAPTER 8
Too Fast
It happened so fast. It had only been two weeks since Halloween. Ruth and I were on our way home from school. I held open the door to our apartment building. As Ruth stepped in front of me to go inside, she turned to look at me. I didn’t think anything of it. She was always stopping before I could completely get through the door. She would cause it to slam into my back. She would laugh as I chased her up the stairs. But not that day. Ruth asked me to come by her place. “It will only take a minute.” She smiled really big. “I have a surprise for you.”
