On thin ice, p.24
On Thin Ice, page 24
My eyes burned, a blinding ache forming behind my temples from the attempt to hold back tears. One traitor escaped but I swiped it away and held my head high.
My mother shook her head. “Don’t make me feel bad, Matilda. I didn’t say it to make you upset.”
Another knife to the chest.
I hated knowing I had upset her, but Luca was right. My mother’s happiness wasn’t my responsibility. This was my life, not hers. He made me feel like I could stand on my own, helped me see that my worth wasn’t tied to making other people happy, and offered more unconditional support than I’d ever got from my family.
“Well, dinner is ruined.” Lauren narrowed her eyes at me. “I’ve lost my appetite. Mum, do you want me to help you clear away?”
“Yes, please.” Our mother sniffled.
I snatched my plate and pressed a quick kiss to Taylor’s cheek. “Sorry about this, sweetie. I’ll speak to you next week.”
“I love you,” she whispered.
“I love you more.”
I darted into the kitchen, not wanting to stay there a second longer, and hurriedly loaded my plate into the dishwasher.
My heart pounded, and as soon as I was out of their sight line, hot tears rolled down my cheeks. I pushed out of the back door and pulled out my phone to call an Uber.
There were no fucking Ubers in the area. I leaned against the wall and tipped my head to the dark sky, a strangled sob escaping.
I considered calling Lily, but I didn’t want to pull her away from a dance class. More than that, calling Lily didn’t feel right—I loved her, but she wasn’t the one I needed in that moment.
I wanted Luca.
Glancing through the window, I saw my mother and sister were animatedly talking in the kitchen, shaking their heads as they poured themselves another glass of wine.
I covered my mouth, hoping to calm the sobs. Before second-guessing myself, I called Luca.
He answered on the second ring.
“Matilda, are you OK?” His words were measured but filled with concern.
“Um, yeah.” I attempted to steady my voice. “Sorry to call. Are you busy? Could you p-pick me up, p-please?”
“Of course. What happened? Where are you?” A shuffling sounded through the phone, alongside a jingle of keys.
“I’m at my parents’,” I whispered.
“Are you crying?”
“No.”
“Matilda…”
“Is it a pain to come and get me? All the Ubers are busy, and I need to get out of here and—”
“Stop. I am coming right now—” His voice grew distant momentarily as he mumbled to someone, “I’ll be right back.” Who was he speaking to? Did he have company?
The knot in my throat tightened. “Oh my god, are you busy? It’s honestly—”
“I’m never too busy for you. Send me the address, and I’ll be there.”
“Are you sure?”
“Do it now.”
For the first time since I’d arrived, I felt like I could breathe properly.
“Thank you, Luca.”
“I’ll see you soon, Stevens.”
Luca: I’m here.
If he had driven from his house, he must have sped here to arrive so quickly. I wasted no time, pushing through the back door and storming into the kitchen. My mother and sister’s conversation stopped as I entered the room.
So they were bitching about me.
Just as I left through the front door, their footsteps echoed down the hallway as my sister shouted, “Where are you going?”
I spotted Luca’s car parked at the bottom of the drive. My shoulders relaxed, and the knot in my stomach eased with every step I took toward his car.
“Matilda!” My mother’s shout followed me down the drive. “Where are you going?”
As I got closer, Luca must have seen something in my face because he climbed out. His unwavering resolve did something to me, and another tear escaped, but this time in relief. I’d never felt so grateful to have someone so steadfast by my side.
“Come here.” He opened his arms, and I rushed into them, savoring his familiar scent. His arms enveloped me, an embrace that spoke volumes. His warmth seeped into me as one arm wrapped around my shoulders, and the other cradled my head against his chest.
He held me for a second before pulling back an inch so he could search my face. His eyes flashed as he registered the tearstains on my cheeks and my swollen eyes.
“Is that Luca?” My sister’s voice traveled down the drive.
“Can we go, please?” I whispered.
“Of course.” He pressed a quick kiss on my forehead before walking to the passenger side and holding the door open. I climbed in, sinking into the luxurious heated seat that Luca must have warmed on his way over.
The thought made me want to cry again.
Luca, whom I’d known for not even four months, cared for me more than my own family did. And I hadn’t even had to do anything to win his friendship other than be myself.
“I’ll get us out of here and then we can talk.” He squeezed my thigh before reversing. We drove for about five minutes, with only the radio breaking the silence. Luca’s knuckles remained tense and white from gripping the steering wheel so tightly.
“Are you OK?” I turned to face him.
“No.” He exhaled heavily before continuing, “I am reciting the list of reasons why I shouldn’t go back there and give your family what they deserve.”
“What’s on the list?”
“That your feelings are a lot more important.”
“What else?”
“Nothing—that’s it,” he deadpanned, but his hands were starting to loosen their grip.
“It’s not really a list, then, is it?” I joked, attempting to ignore how my heart skipped a beat at his words.
He glanced at me, a small, dimpled smile pulling up one side of his mouth. His soft eyes assessed me again, and I couldn’t quite believe this was the same man I’d met all those weeks ago. The same man who’d told me we’d never be friends and would barely look at me.
“What happened?”
I stared out the window momentarily, watching the unrecognizable roads pass and willing the ache behind my eyes to disappear.
“Dinner at my parents’ is always awful, to be honest. My mother whines about my career, my sister antagonizes me in any way possible, and my father shows no interest in me…” I pushed a hand through my hair, working the tension from my scalp. “The moment I arrived, Lauren was on a mission to piss me off.”
“What did she say?”
“Just quoting the old headlines about you.” I left out the part about my not being good enough for him, hoping it would keep my tears at bay.
His throat bobbed with a swallow, but he watched the dark road ahead.
“So you said something to her?”
“Yeah, for probably the first time in years.” I laughed, unable to believe I’d said it. “I told her where to shove it.”
“Oh yeah?” Pride emanated from his voice. “What did you say?”
“That it was rich coming from her as someone who’d slept with her sister’s ex-boyfriend.”
His head jolted to the side, mouth parting with surprise. “Excuse me?”
Another laugh escaped me, brittle and strained. “Yeah, I know.” As I recited the story of Lauren and Mark’s flirting, the breakup, and then finding them together a week later, Luca’s expression became increasingly bewildered. I couldn’t help the near-manic laugh that bubbled out of me at his expression and the absurdity of the situation.
“How are you laughing right now? How do you put up with seeing them both and still behave so nicely?”
“I wasn’t at the start. My sister and I argued for about a week after the whole thing.”
“Only a week?” His deep voice pitched higher in disbelief. “I would never speak to either of them again.”
“It was difficult…” I thought back to a year ago. “Lauren was never going to admit to being in the wrong. She said it was my fault that he’d dumped me because I ‘didn’t offer him enough,’ and, ultimately, I still wanted a relationship with Taylor.”
“Did she and Mark become a thing?” Luca turned his eyes on me for a moment.
I scoffed. “No. They lasted all of a month before he ended things with her—and asked me for a second chance.” I held up my hands, guessing the next question. “I told him no, obviously. But it was mid-season in last year’s show, so I couldn’t escape Mark, really.”
“And your parents didn’t have anything to say about it?”
“Not really.” I had been the mediator in their arguments my whole childhood, but the second my sister and I got into it, they’d turn a blind eye, saying they “didn’t want to get involved.” Unless we were arguing about something that touched my mother’s legacy. Then she had an opinion. “Because we were already broken up when they got together, my mum said there wasn’t anything technically wrong about what they did.”
“Damn, that’s crazy, and complete bullshit. What they did was completely wrong.” He paused. “What about Taylor’s dad? Is he not in the picture?”
“He works with my dad; they’re always traveling for business. He’s pretty hands-off when it comes to Taylor. I only really see him once a year on Taylor’s birthday. It does make me feel bad for my sister.”
“Still. You shouldn’t have had to put up with that, Stevens.” Luca just shook his head, not taking his eyes off the road.
“It pushed me to move out, though, so there’s that. I don’t know when I’d have taken the leap to find my own place had all that not happened.”
“And that’s why it’s so important for you to win and then quit the show? Not just to ‘repay’ your mom?”
“It’s mostly only about that now. Would getting my mum off my back be a bonus? Sure. But I just want to be able to be independent and have a career I love.”
He nodded in understanding. “Either way, I’m proud of you for standing up to them today.”
A small smile spread across my face as I looked out the window. “Where are we going?” Although it was dark, I could just about make out unfamiliar trees and lakes. Wherever we were heading, it wasn’t toward my house or the studio.
“I want you to meet my mother.”
* * *
After driving through the countryside for a few more minutes, the Sycamore Lane Care Home sign came into view.
I couldn’t quite believe Luca was taking me to meet his mother.
“When my mother was diagnosed with ALS, she was still able to travel, so we moved back to just outside of London. She was originally from here, so it made sense to come back.” He unbuckled his seatbelt and turned to look at me. “She lived with me for about a year, but eventually she needed more care. I offered to bring a nurse in, but she didn’t want that. She worried she wouldn’t see anyone besides me and her nurse for the rest of her life.” He stared out the window briefly before returning his gaze to me. “So, we found this place. She loves it as much as you can love a care home.”
I nodded in understanding. After we’d been buzzed in through the gates, we were greeted with a long, paved drive illuminated by hundreds of small lamps and towering trees lining each side, which led to a massive two-story building with at least fifty rooms. The reception entrance was bathed in a soft glow and held a certain inviting charm.
Luca scanned the front of the building as I asked him, “Do you think you’ll film again after you’ve done Dirty Dancing?”
He shook his head and moved to climb out of the car. “I don’t love it anymore. I used to love acting, but now I can’t look past everything that comes with it. Although, seeing how happy my mom is to see me on TV again does make me want to consider continuing.”
Listening to him made me realize that he prioritized his happiness over anything other than his mother’s. And maybe Jack’s.
Instead of heading straight in, I gently touched his upper arm, halting his movement.
“Thank you again for coming to get me,” I said.
“I’m glad you called.” He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear before dropping his hand quickly. He gestured to the building, and I followed him up the stairs to the main reception. We handed over our IDs and signed in.
Luca guided me through the hallways, where the soft lighting cast a warm glow across the polished wooden floors.
“My mother’s room is up here,” he said, pointing ahead. I’d been so consumed by my thoughts of dinner that it had literally just hit me that I was meeting Luca’s mother—with tearstained, red-rimmed eyes, no less. My eyes darted around the hallway, looking for a bathroom sign. Coming up short, I settled for running my fingers through my hair and quickly swiping under my eyes in case any mascara was smudged there.
He nudged the door with his arm and said, “Hi, Mom, I’m back.”
Given the grandeur of the rest of the home, I shouldn’t have been surprised at the size of the room, but I was. Beautiful landscape artworks covered the walls, alongside a large flat-screen TV and a few photographs of Luca, his mother, and an older couple.
Luca’s mother sat in a plush armchair upholstered in a rich fabric. She looked exactly how I’d imagined: beautiful, ageless, and kind. Her dark, slightly graying hair brushed her shoulders, and a warm smile stretched across her tanned face when she spotted her son.
“Oh Luca, how was she—” His mum paused, spotting me as I stepped out from behind him. Her face bloomed into a wider smile, and she opened her arms. “Oh my, Matilda!”
Luca leaned down and kissed her cheek softly. I followed, and she sat forward and pulled me into a hug. It was warm and grounding, like she knew exactly how much I needed it. I breathed in the faint scent of her—lavender and fresh cotton. She squeezed me tight for a moment and my heart swelled with gratitude.
“Sorry for intruding.” I stood back, fiddling with the ends of my hair. “I didn’t realize Luca was visiting you; otherwise, I wouldn’t have called him.”
“Don’t be silly, sweetheart. He visits me too much as it is; I’ve been telling him he needs to get out more.” Her quiet voice danced with loving humor as her gaze flickered to him. “I’m Rosie, by the way.”
“Don’t embarrass me, Mom. Matilda thinks I have a busy schedule attending important meetings and visiting countless friends.”
Our light laughter echoed around the room, and I continued. “Well, thank you for loaning him out to me for the past few months.” I decided to offer her the truth, as Luca encouraged me to do. “Even if he was a pain in my arse at the start.”
A smile played at the corner of his lips. Rosie’s gaze shifted between us, her face softening with laughter.
“Why doesn’t that surprise me one bit? Please, tell me more.” We sat in the armchairs opposite hers, sinking into the deep, comfortable cushions.
I ignored my vibrating phone as we launched into stories from the show. We avoided the subject of what was going on now between us, but it was obvious that he’d told her what had happened to some extent. She peppered us with questions on how training was going and how we felt about making it this far in the competition.
Watching Luca interact with his mum was heartwarming; I’d never seen him so relaxed. However, I realized that over the past two months, since the press event, I’d started to see more of the man who sat in front of me—hints of who he was when he trusted the person he was with.
I eventually got fed up with my phone buzzing nonstop, so I pulled it out to turn it off, already knowing who was blowing it up. I had a few missed texts from my mother, a few missed calls from my sister, but unsurprisingly nothing from my dad.
“Everything OK?” Luca asked when I powered off my phone.
“Yeah, all good.” I smiled.
“I’m going to grab Mum a tea quickly, then. I’ll be right back.” He gently squeezed my shoulder as he exited the room.
“Is everything OK, lovely?” Rosie asked.
“Just stuff with family,” I answered but changed the subject, not wanting to bore her with my drama. “You and Luca seem so close.”
Their bond was almost palpable—from their shared glances and easy smiles to how she’d instinctively brushed the stray lock of hair from his forehead when they were talking. I couldn’t remember when my mother had done anything like that for me.
“We are. He might not show it to anyone anymore, but he’ll do anything for the people he loves.”
I had witnessed his love for his mother firsthand. The entire reason Luca was doing the show was to make his mum happy, and although that would be considered a grand gesture, Luca was an expert at the small things, too, even if he denied it.
He didn’t love me, but he never failed to ensure I was cared for. He delivered me my favorite coffee, knew my favorite foods, sent me a song that he thought I might like, drove us to the beach, collected my costume from Wardrobe every week so I didn’t have to make the trek across the studio, carried my skates for me…The list went on.
“I can tell,” I agreed before adding, “He’s been good to me this season.”
His mother raised a knowing eyebrow.
“Well, most of the season.” I laughed. “He’s really pushed me to start doing things I normally wouldn’t. It’s…nice.”
“I hope you don’t mind, but Luca told me your mother pushed you into the show. Don’t you enjoy it?” She readjusted the blanket laid across her lap.
I paused, glancing around the room momentarily, working out how to respond as I gathered my thoughts. I settled on honesty.
“I hate it.”
Her eyes widened for a moment. Then she nodded in encouragement for me to continue.
